Therapy for attachment and relationship patterns in Ottawa

When relationships leave you uncertain

You might be comfortable supporting others but unsure how to let them support you. You may agree to plans before checking whether you want to go, then feel resentful or guilty afterward. Or you might spend a long time considering a short reply, trying to decide whether the other person is upset.

Individual therapy can focus on relationships with partners, family, friends or colleagues. You can bring a relationship that matters to you without already knowing what you want to do about it. We can explore what feels difficult, what you value about the connection, and where your own needs have become hard to recognize or express.

The context of the relationship matters. A response may make sense in light of how another person has treated you. We won’t assume that discomfort always comes from your past or that changing your own response will resolve every difficulty between you.

What an attachment lens adds

An attachment lens brings attention to your expectations around connection and support. What do you anticipate when you need someone? How do you make sense of distance, disagreement or a change in tone? What feels possible to ask for, and what do you expect might happen if you ask?

These questions can help us look more closely at moments that otherwise pass quickly. You might withdraw before discovering whether someone is willing to listen, or keep explaining a concern because you do not yet feel understood. We can consider the experiences around those responses and how they fit the relationship you are in now.

You do not need to identify an attachment style before starting. Labels such as anxious or avoidant may give some people a starting point, but they do not tell us everything about a person or a relationship. We’ll take time to understand your experience in its own terms.

Bringing a relationship pattern into a session

A session might begin with something recent: a request you agreed to, an argument you keep returning to, or a conversation you decided not to have. We can slow down the sequence and look at what you noticed, what you understood the other person to mean, and what you wanted them to understand about you.

For example, you might have said that a plan was fine when you were disappointed. We could explore what made it difficult to say so. Perhaps you were unsure whether your disappointment was reasonable, or expected the conversation to become an argument. Those possibilities lead to different questions; we would not need to settle on one explanation immediately.

As we understand the situation, we can consider what you might want to approach differently. That could mean finding words for a preference, deciding what you need before answering a request, or recognizing that a conversation needs more time. The direction depends on the circumstances and your priorities.

Boundaries, guilt and room for your own needs

Knowing what you want does not always make it easy to say. You may understand that you need rest and still worry that declining an invitation will disappoint someone. Family responsibilities, cultural expectations and practical dependence can also affect which choices are available.

We can talk about what a boundary would mean in a particular relationship, including what you hope it would protect and what makes it difficult. We won’t assume that a firmer response is always the right response. There may be competing needs to consider or consequences that deserve careful attention.

If these questions often turn into criticism of yourself, you can also read about therapy for self-worth and self-criticism.

For a closer look at the uncertainty after saying no, read Why do I feel guilty after setting a boundary?.

How Maiah works with these concerns

Maiah’s approach is relational and collaborative. Alongside an attachment lens, her work draws on Internal Family Systems (IFS), mindfulness and somatic practices. These approaches can offer different ways to notice a response and explore it without deciding too quickly what it means.

For instance, parts work may give us language for wanting to speak up while also wanting to protect a relationship from conflict. Mindfulness or attention to physical experience may help us notice a moment when you stop following the conversation or become unsure what you want to say. We can discuss whether a particular approach feels useful to you.

You can read more about Maiah’s background and approach and the broader individual therapy process.

Individual relationship work and couples therapy

This page describes one-to-one work with Maiah. Your partner or family member does not attend these individual sessions. The focus is on your experience, concerns and choices; individual work cannot tell us everything about another person’s perspective or make decisions on their behalf.

If you want to attend sessions together as a couple, we refer to Masood Suliman at Ripple Effect. Meet Masood and find his couples consultation information. His bookings are separate from Maiah’s individual appointments.

Appointments with Maiah

Individual appointments are available for ages 16+, in person at 9 Melrose Ave in Ottawa and online across Ontario. Sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. We provide a detailed receipt for insurance reimbursement; please confirm your plan’s coverage for services from a Registered Psychotherapist and any additional requirements.

A complimentary 15-minute phone consultation gives you an opportunity to ask about working with Maiah and share a little about what you are looking for. You can begin with the part of the situation that feels clearest to you.

For location details or a practical question, contact Aligning Tides Counselling and Psychotherapy.